Performance Humor

I found some jokes told by some Bluegrass Performers over the years.
Lester Flatt used to say of Josh Graves durring introductions, “You’ve heard of people that don’t know nothin’? Well he don’t even suspect nothin’.”
The Pinnacle Boys’ Bud Brewster used to respond to requests for songs they didn’t like or didn’t know by saying, “I’m sorry but we don’t have that one worked up. But here’s one with a lot of the same notes and we sure hope you’ll like it.”

Tom Rozum was full of lame jokes at the Lewis-Rozum shows. One example:
Why do chicken coops have two doors?
If they had four, they’d be chicken sedans…

How about this from the Country Gentlemen.
Boy, I really like this town, but I gotta tell you, last night, I didn’t get any sleep at all. There were all these girls banging on the door all night long!
It got so bad, I finally had to get up and let ’em out!

And an oldie but a goodie….what do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player?
a tattoo

Got any others ?

2 thoughts on “Performance Humor

  1. Sam Bush introducing band-mate Tony Rice

    “Tony and I have known each other for 20 years. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him and nothing he wouldn’t do for me. We do absolutely nothing for each other.”

    Gotta love Sam’s rye sense of humor.

  2. Passing this along from Larry Wade:

    1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

    6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

    7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

    14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

    16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

    17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    21. A backward poet writes inverse.

    22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

    23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

    24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *